are you in the shade of something bigger?

[libellules]

ahn sohee libellules #saysohee
june 27th 1992, kappa delta
architecture and interior design junior
environmental, archery, outdoors clubs
works as a bartender at the cakeshop club and has two slightly popular youtube channels
lives an one room apartment  studio nearby the university.

① tiny, fragile and overprotected were adjectives to describe sohee for an extended period of her life.

born in 1992, seoul, this girl had everything one could ask for. top education, a loving family and "friends", a very stable financial situation. she attended to  international schools all of her life, her parents already thinking of her future when they enrolled her in an english speaking school once they had no desire to move abroad or send such delicate little girl to live abroad her own when she was old enough. they were mostly right, she couldn't greet neighbors without hiding behind her mom's legs and even when she was older ordering food without stuttering was the greatest achievement she could reach.

  

② studying her life away

the only thing she could really think of in her teen years was her grades.
anything less than 90% would get her obsessing over her mistakes and locking herself in her room for unhealthy hours of reviewing, cramming, studying, her hands often stained with highlight ink of all colors. sohee hadn't found anything that interested her as a hobby and had absolutely no clue of her likes or dislikes. 

it didn't help that she felt lonely a lot. it's not like she didn't have any friends,  she did. except all they were interested in was copying her homework. "friends."
unfortunately, sohee believed eveything she was told and everyone who approached her. 
 

③ new life?

with her high gpa, it was no news that she managed to get in yonsei with no idea what she wants to do for university and if she wants to go to university, and no apparent goals in her life besides finding a life goal.
she took two years off to work, some boring secretary job. she might not know what she wants, but she definitely didn't want to stay longer. it also helped her parents were pressuring her to quit working when they could provide. yonsei it was.
the problem was what major she was going to declare, now that she is in, she moved out of her home (while her parents did require she was home at least 3 days of the week) and there was no one else treating her like she was made of porcelain anymore. 
nothing has changed, except that now she had a friend that genuinely cared about her. 

④ figuring things out.

"i don't know what majors do i like. i don't even know which greek house do i like."
"why don't you find your way to figure out your way to find out what you like?"

and this is how sohee picked up on a thousand hobby and major possibilities.
at the end of this extensive one year journey of building things, recording things, interviewing people, skating, swimming, taking a bunch of classes, learning how to operate a camera, tutoring, etc., she ended up with quite a few good choices.
one, she started her youtube channels. one is for beauty, make up, some vlogs, so on.
the other one is video classes, in which she teaches math.
secondly, she found out she is good at chatting. good at acting. she has her bartender persona now, a baby faced fierce woman.
and thirdly, she finally decided she wanted to give people beautiful homes, build beautiful houses. architecture it should be and she loves every single bit of it.
 

⑤ the parents' case.

 

her parents weren't aware of the change inside their pliant daughter to someone who seeks independence and strength, to someone who is tired of seeing herself as helpless and wants to do something with her life.

it wasn't her parents fault, though. she was aware how suitable their behavior was with her naive and shy personality used to be, but the fact that she felt different required a different treatment from them that only came with tons and tons of discussion and demands from the young girl. 

eventually, they did accept the sudden change and started to trust her more and in the same period of time she started getting somewhere with finding herself. 

⑥ girl power? count me in.

learning all these things were no joke, but the ladies at kappa delta were always supportive. so she decided to be within ambitious women, perhaps there would be a source of inspiration.
she was not mistaken.


⑦ facts about this grown woman.
♥ahn sohee is an echo of pre-university ahn sohee. which means, she's very naive. takes a while to remember that's not good at all.
♥she's very nice and approachable nowadays. with all this experience she gathered doing all those activities, she managed to break the shyness. she's now an outgoing, assertive and strong woman.
♥freedom, freedom, freeeeedom. her apartment might be small, but it's hers and she pays for it. very into the "i now don't need anyone" mentality. she does. she's just too prideful to take it.
♥terrible with directions. needs google maps like she needs water.
♥will eat popcorn 24/7. cooks below average. 
♥lives on the netflix and chickflicks.
♥ skates (both rolling and the board) or bikes her way to class.
♥ some may call her a liar, due to her bartender persona. she doesn't care. it's fun to be someone else when she can be.
♥pretty reckless. no, not the band.
♥vain. only time she's not taking care of her looks is when she's out of the house.

♥sohee the bartender is a very mysterious, very sultry, very flirty and very confident woman. 
♥sohee the non-batender is just a dork, doesn't know how to flirt and her boyfriend is her gpa.
♥sohee the bartender doesn't drink. never has. sohee the non-bartender drinks like a cowboy.
♥ sohee the bartender would dance on a bar if given the opportunity.
♥ sohee the non-bartender will just be swaying to the sides and downing shots of tequila.
♥ both of them can dance well, though.
♥ sohee the bartender claims she is a misunderstood artist, that she's only good at mixing drinks and paiting weird art.
♥ sohee the non-bartender can do a bunch of things. legolas and merida have nothing on her, her contour skills are so sharp could kill a man and she's a math genius.

 ♥ sohee the bartender says smoking will kill you.
♥ sohee the non-bartender has a cute e-cig with vanilla fluids.
♥both speak english fluently because of her international schools background. speak with a southern american accent.
♥sohee the non-bartender justifies this with the truth: she found it cute how one of her teachers spoke.
♥ sohee the bartender roadtripped the states once. she left the united states, but will the united states leave her? no sir.